Scholarship Programs

Query by Cat Energy: Is likely over the phrase control okay for scholarship programs?
So I have to write a 250 term essay in order to implement for this scholarship. I really like the essay I have arrive up with so significantly but it’s 394 phrases. Must I shorten it and risk writing a much much less compelling essay or break the policies a tiny and submit the extended piece.

Best answer:

Reply by Aly
shorten it. they read sooo several of these essays. be brief and directly to the point.

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Problem by GandhiGuy: Anything at all wrong with this essay?
it really is for a scholarship…inform me if you see any grammatical errors..also inform me what you feel of it!

I would like to get this chance to share with the selection committee the purpose why I have earned this prestigious scholarship. I have committed every fiber of my being to enhancing myself academically, mentally, and bodily around the previous a number of a long time exclusively to obtain perfection. I operate tough not as a means to an finish, but due to the fact it’s who I am. I have earned the Park Scholarship by means of leadership, scholarship, challenging function, and determination to training.
Substantial faculty was a tough transition for me, and my grades for the duration of my 1st calendar year at Apex Substantial School reflect that struggle. Even so, my grades also replicate how I’ve benefited myself by way of difficult function and commitment to academics. Throughout my freshman yr, I spent each and every day of every week of every single month in pursuit of the elusive “A”. As a result, my sophomore year was a breeze. I manufactured straight A’s the whole year. Even following the huge endeavor of 5 Superior Placement courses throughout my junior calendar year, this pattern remained continual. My 1st AP encounter final 12 months was tough. As a outcome, I attained comparatively low grades (A’s and B’s). But as the calendar year progressed, I worked tougher and devoted myself to attaining perfect grades beneath the strain of higher education-level courses. By the conclude of junior calendar year, I eventually attained directly A’s. Thank you to junior 12 months, I’m still earning directly A’s in my senior calendar year AP courses.
I’ve shown this approach of enhancement in virtually every single challenge I’ve engaged in. When I first created Science Club and Math Club, I had no clue what I was performing. My leadership, hard perform, and dedication are what allowed me to finally recognize science and math and ultimately grow to be the president of STEM (Science Technologies Engineering and Math) Club. When I very first started volunteering, I was constrained to only a couple of hours a 12 months in a couple places. After many years of commitment to my local community, I now volunteer hundreds of hrs a yr in countless service employment throughout the state.
I’m looking ahead to my subsequent problem: college. I see it as another way to additional boost myself. The transition to university is likely to be tough (like my freshman and junior years). However, I consider solace in understanding that my hard work and determination has usually occur by way of for me in the previous. In every single activity I have undertaken as a result significantly (Science Club, Math Club, STEM Club, Apex Substantial College, etc…) I have struggled, enhanced, and succeeded. Each and every one of these undertakings has taught me a single universal truth: the sky is the restrict as long as I operate challenging and dedicate myself to the activity at hand. I have struggled and improved myself in the weeks primary up to this scholarship opportunity. In purchase to realize success, I need to eventually make it. I hope these phrases in conjunction with my earlier essays and educational merit have compelled you to contemplate me for the Park Scholarship and let me to be successful.

Greatest reply:

Response by Falar
Your confidence is excellent, but I personally think you audio really melodramatic at some factors in your essay. The entire “each and every fiber of my getting” is extremely around the prime, and sounds a lot more like sucking up than a sensible statement. The exact same goes for “every single day of every single week of every month”: there are significantly far better approaches to illustrate your commitment than that. Saying “the sky is the limit” is extremely cliche and quite amateur, and it undermines the all round top quality of your producing. At the beginning, your selection of “scholarship” as one of your high quality just sounds awkward, specifically when you chat about THE scholarship previously in the very same sentence. Also, you possibly never want to contact your sophmore year a “breeze”, considering that it implies taking items straightforward and not making use of yourself: if you had no trouble with your classes, then why would not you be locating some other way to display the virtues you described?

When you discuss about how you grew to become president of STEM, you almost certainly shouldn’t use the acronym as it just requires up house, and the parantheses you use to make clear it make it appear ungainly. Just write out the full title of the club (with commas?).

Whilst your dedication is commendable, you also use the word five moments in just 4 paragraphs, so you ought to possibly uncover some synonyms. The identical goes for improvement, because I count four variations of the word. Even even worse, you you some kind of the phrase “function” seven times during the essay, two makes use of in every single paragraph but 1. On the total, your diction could use development (because of to the aforementioned examples), although you don’t want to go so far you lose your “voice”. The closing sentence (“and let me to do well”) is awkward, implying you will fail if they will not choose you, which is certainly NOT an thought you want to convey.

Whew. Sorry this was this kind of a doozy, but it sounds like you are worthy of the scholarship. I wish you the ideal of luck, and hope this aids

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Question by free2write4ever: Prom drama… help me out?
I apologize first and foremost for length. I tried to just post a link to my blog ( lifeandtimesofjay.wordpress.com It’s probably easier to read it there) (<- I admit to the shameless plug right there, but it's also true), and I got reported and my question deleted... Yeah, weird. Anyway, here we go.

A few days ago a guy friend of mine asked me to prom as friends in a pretty cute way, and I’d made a deal with myself to avoid drama and simply say yes to whoever asked me first, and if I didn’t get asked at all, no biggie. I’d go stag.

So I said yes. It wasn’t until the next day, when my best friend, Kaylee, started talking about going ahead and asking one of our younger mutual guy friends, just to have a date, that I realized I’d made a mistake. While I’d thought that it wouldn’t bother me at all… some old feelings for this boy came up. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I realized that I still liked this guy, and if I didn’t do something this whole opportunity of prom would slip through my fingers.

So, I talked to another good friend of mine, a junior, we call her Munk, and we sorted it out. We decided that I would man up (figuratively, of course) and break off the arrangement with the first boy, Mac, and ask the second one, Rian, to prom myself.

I talked to Mac and it ended up being fine. He told me he appreciated that I told him the whole truth (I really poured it out to him) and that he supported whatever I did next.

So I came up with a plan.

I made this adorable document styled off of a business plan; it said “There’s been a change of plan for prom 2011”, and then I did some clever rewording of business statements to have it ask him to prom. I printed it off, and made it all official looking by putting it in a business envelope.

The next day a good chunk of my group of friends went to Rian’s house to hang out before going to see the midnight premiere of Limitless. I carried that envelope around all night, wondering when exactly I should make my move. I stalled and stalled, and finally just decided to wait. I had to drop Munk off at her house before we went to the premiere, so I was one of the last ones there. When I climbed up the stairs to our usual area near the top (we go to the movies a lot) I discovered our large group had been split off into several small ones due to limited space. Rian was sitting with one of my little sister’s friends, Sarrah. I knew that Sarrah had liked Rian in the past, but maybe it didn’t mean anything. She might not even like him anymore… Then my sister started giving Sarrah goofy thumbs up and winking at her… not a good sign.

The movie came on, I sat though it (it was alright, not great though), it ended, everyone went home. I was rethinking my choice as I drove my sister’s boyfriend home and she slept in the back of the car. I dropped him off and as I wondered if maybe I should leave Rian to Sarrah after all. Suddenly Avril Laviegne’s “What The Hell?” came on, and I was inspired, empowered. I would do this.

The next day, yesterday, I had to stay home to do scholarships while some my friends hung out at Bryanna’s (my sister) boyfriend’s (Codey) house. I sent the letter with Kaylee, and told her to give it to him in front of everyone. I’d be getting two birds with one stone, letting everyone know I’d broken it off with Mac and asking Rian to go at the same time.

One problem. He didn’t go.

Bryanna later told me he’d been hanging out with Sarrah. Alone.

Sonofabitch.

It was okay, the plan was still on, we could hang out the next night, I could do it myself.

I woke up this morning with a text from Kaylee.

Sarrah and Rian are officially going out.

Whatever had caused Rian to consider asking me to prom, as Kaylee had mentioned days before, was gone.

I sent Mac a text, basically asking him if he’d take me back as a prom date. It’s been hours, and still no response, but he’s really terrible about answering his phone, so it could go either way.

If you're still reading, thank you. I really appreciate it

Best answer:

Answer by Kayla Kemp
your welcomee but its cool i’m grounded so nothing better to do and maybe he didnt fully get the hint n yeah he might have not answered yet. or he might have another date. try n get ahold of him

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The School of Social Sciences will be offering a number of competitive scholarships up to the value of £2000 for the academic year 2011 / 12
Study Subject:Social Sciences
Employer:Nottingham Trent University
Level:Masters
scholarship Description:The scholarships are available to UK / EU students who have been offered a place to study on their chosen full-time / part-time Masters programme within the School.

Nature of the Scholarship
These scholarships will be awarded to the candidates who most closely meet the criteria for the award which are provided below.
The Scholarship decision will be made by an awarding committee and all decisions are final. If you are awarded a Scholarship your fee will be adjusted before enrolment. If you are a part time student your fee will be adjusted proportionally at the start of each year.

Application Process
Applications must be received at the address on the application form by 4pm on 19 August 2011.
Applications must consist of a fully completed scholarship application form, together with an additional statement of a maximum of 750 words which directly addresses the criteria below. You must also submit evidence to prove that you have achieved a 2.1 or above (or EU equivalent) in your undergraduate degree. Please see Application Form for further details.
The selection panel reserve the right to exclude from consideration any applications that include written statements which exceed the stated word limit.

Scholarship Application Deadline:Friday 19 August 2011, 4pm

A key NMF initiative is mentored externships that focus on improving the educational experiences of minority medical students that can also increase access of underserved populations to quality healthcare delivery. The GE/NMF Medical Scholars program enhances the knowledge skills and competencies of health professionals serving a diverse client population nationally and globally, provides a program model of mentored externship experiences for 4th year US minority medical students, and improves patient care in partner countries. GE/NMF Medical Scholars complete a two-month elective in Ghana or Uganda, West Africa that focuses on critical regional health care needs.
This two-month clinical/public health elective is conducted in district hospitals, and focuses on critical health care issues such as HIV/AIDS, diabetes, tuberculosis, heart disease, cancer, and infant mortality. [Read the rest of this entry...]